trust30 day number eighteen.
I really really like today's topic.
I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Think of all the things that are not working in your life. That job you don’t like, that relationship that’s not working, those friends that annoy you. Now turn them all on you. Imagine that everything that’s not working in your life, is your fault. How would you approach it? What would you work on to change your life to the state that you want it to be?
(Author: Carlos Miceli)
I think this topic is too broad for me to approach on this blog, but it really has given me a new way to look at the issues I have in my life. I try not to spend all of my time whining and complaining about things, but I know I'm guilty of doing so.
Reading this prompt has reminded me that I spend more time than I should approaching problems I have with others from the perspective that THEY are the ones that need to change to make everything better. Instead, I could be the one making the changes to remedy the situation.
Sometimes, the problem might really be me and I just need to step outside of the situation to realize it. And sometimes, the problem might actually be the other person. But if I start making efforts to do things differently in my interactions with them, then maybe our relationship will start to change and we can begin to make progress on the issues between us.
This approach might not always be effective, but I'm pretty sure anybody is going to see more positive results from it than from constantly pointing fingers at others and not taking personal responsibility when conflicts or problems arise. I know I'm guilty of placing blame when I should be looking at myself on a regular basis. And today I'm making a promise to myself that I am going to stop doing that. I'm going to start asking myself what I could be doing differently to better my relationships with people, make situations better, or solve whatever the problem is that has arisen.
Reading this prompt has reminded me that I spend more time than I should approaching problems I have with others from the perspective that THEY are the ones that need to change to make everything better. Instead, I could be the one making the changes to remedy the situation.
Sometimes, the problem might really be me and I just need to step outside of the situation to realize it. And sometimes, the problem might actually be the other person. But if I start making efforts to do things differently in my interactions with them, then maybe our relationship will start to change and we can begin to make progress on the issues between us.
This approach might not always be effective, but I'm pretty sure anybody is going to see more positive results from it than from constantly pointing fingers at others and not taking personal responsibility when conflicts or problems arise. I know I'm guilty of placing blame when I should be looking at myself on a regular basis. And today I'm making a promise to myself that I am going to stop doing that. I'm going to start asking myself what I could be doing differently to better my relationships with people, make situations better, or solve whatever the problem is that has arisen.
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
What do you think about this approach to the issues that arise in your life? Do you think it's effective?
5 comments:
Though change in others may be t u r t l e slow in coming -- or not come at all -- approaching relationships with the wisdom held in the serenity prayer changes us, frees us from our own whining and complaining. Well done! Rw
I always get so frustrated when people complain and do nothing about it! And if it's something you can't change and you're just stuck with, complaining won't help anything! Haha
P.S. I don't teach but I'm the office manager for a charter school and I love it!
jamie - i bet that is a great job! i have a few friends who work at charter schools and LOVE it.
My dad went to rehab and AA when I was 14. That's when I first heard the Serenity Prayer and it changed my life!! After I get through the initial vent about some problem I'm having with someone or something, I do stop and think about what I can do to change the situation or if I need to accept it as it is and drop it. It's so simple yet huge! Great post!
alison - it really is a huge thing. i've been working to do that more since i've written this post. it hasn't been easy. and i definitely haven't done it perfectly. but i can say it has already made quite a difference in my interactions with others.
thanks for the encouraging comment! :)
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