baby steps.

Since I haven't been blogging like I should lately, I figured I would ease back into this with truth number seven.

6.  Someone who has made your life worth living.
So my answer for this one is probably pretty obvious. But I'm not going to try to make up something original just to be different. It's not worth it. And it also wouldn't be true.  In the past six years Nate has been a part of my life, I have been able to make some big decisions and some drastic changes. And they probably wouldn't have happened if he wasn't there to encourage and support me.  He helps me get through the darkest days, and he is the person with whom I get to share the brightest moments. He isn't my reason for living, but he definitely makes my life worth living. And I wouldn't want to share it with anyone else.

And now I am going to go attempt doing some laundry. Because after spending two whole days moving from the couch to the bed to the couch to the bed gets old after awhile. Once I'm over this sickness and have more energy I'll be back.

Who makes your life worth living?

there's no place like home for the holidays.

So this holiday season has been pretty wonderful.

Nate and I have been blessed with his new job. We discovered that we're a little over a month away from paying off another student loan, meaning there will only be ONE left. I got to spend extra time with my three amazing kids the week before Christmas. Nate and I got to spend three days in Columbia with the family. We got to see parents and siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. We were blessed enough to be able to afford to give gifts and cards to everyone. We enjoyed a lot of good food and good times with family. It even snowed in COLUMBIA the day after Christmas - and the snow stuck!

Now I am taking my day off to recover from the past weekend and get everything in the apartment back in order.

And I figured I'd move on to truth number six since it's been awhile...

6. Something you hope you never have to do.
I hope I never have to move somewhere north of the Mason Dixon Line. I HATE cold weather.

Chloe, on the other hand, LOVES it. Abby? Not so much. Last year, Abby was the one running through the snow and playing in it while I had to hold Chloe just to keep her warm. This year was the exact opposite.

Now it is time for me to do some more housework and get some running in before the hubby gets home. I will leave you with some pretty insightful words that were on Dave Ramsey's Facebook today:

"Not until the pain of the same is greater than the pain of change will you embrace change."

What words of wisdom have had a great impact on your decision making and how you live your life?

Also, I got a Barnes and Noble nook for Christmas. So if anyone else has one, let me know! I want to figure out this whole book sharing thing.

playing catch up!

So last weekend ended up being GREAT.

We couldn't go visit the family because I thought I was going to have a crazy work schedule. But then my therapy session on Saturday morning was cancelled, so Nate and I got to make a road trip up to a corn maze and spend the day together. It was our first time going to one and was a ton of fun!

Then, I got a random phone call from a school I had interviewed at like 3 months ago. They had needed a teaching assistant and I was one of the top three candidates, but they ended up going with someone else. She had to leave the position, though, so they called me in for another interview. I went back in and the next day they called and offered me the job. So I started last week and I have now been working there for a week and a half! This job has been such a blessing and answer to prayer. And I love it! So thanks to all of you who were praying. It means a lot.

This past week and a half has been pretty crazy. Between the new job and my job doing ABA and driving to Columbia and working on weekends and trying to visit the family I've barely had time to stop and breathe. On top of all that, Nate has had a lot going on with work. He has been super busy and it's been very crazy. We have barely had time for each other, much less for family and friends. So if y'all want to be praying for that, we'd GREATLY appreciate it.

We did get to spend the weekend in Columbia this past weekend, though. And we got to see family members we hadn't seen since Mother's Day. Which was nice. And even though we couldn't be with my mom on her birthday, we did get to come down for the celebration with the family. It was a weekend jam-packed full of things to do, but getting to spend time with everyone was completely worth it. We really hate that we can't spend as much time as we want with all of our family. But we definitely try our hardest and have learned to treasure every moment we get with them.

And on that note, here are some pictures from our weekend in Columbia!

The most adorable pirate EVER.

Me, Nate, Jenny, Matt and Alexa on the hayride!

Nate and me with Alexa!

Nate made me play basketball.

I love this little girl! :)

My mom and me at her birthday celebration! :)

Blowing out her candles! :)

Chloe hanging out at her grandparents' house!

And the end of our trip...Abby was READY to be back home and sleep in her own bed!

And now I will end with truth number five.

5. Something you hope to do in your life.

There are a lot of things I want to do in life. And it's really hard to pick just one. But I think one of the biggest for me is that I hope to be able to make as much of a difference in the lives of the children I work with as they make in my life. No matter what each child is like, each one of them teaches me something. The ones who are slow to learn teach me patience. The ones who are full of compassion teach me how important it is to care for others and always be willing to lend a helping hand. The ones who are dismissed by others because they might be aggressive or say mean things teach me to look deeper because there is usually a bigger issue there. These children brighten my day when I'm feeling crappy - whether it's through a hug or a smile or an "I love you Miss Stephanie." And I hope and pray everyday that I can be the teacher, guide, helper, friend, advocate, comforter... that they need me to be. It really is amazing how you start off wanting to teach and then you realize how much you are really learning.

What do YOU hope to do in life?

we eat WAY too many tacos.

I woke up with a headache AGAIN today. And took some medicine, went back to bed and slept in AGAIN today. Now I'm finally up getting things done around the house. And making a yummy Chicken Caesar Salad for lunch. :)

This weekend was pretty good. On Friday, I worked and then came home and fixed tilapia, baked mashed potatoes and salads for dinner. I really could eat seafood everyday. Then on Saturday I worked all day long (from 10 to 5). And Nate ended up driving down to Columbia to help his friend Ben pack up all his stuff because he moved up here to Concord. I spent all Saturday night here by myself watching 90210 and Law and Order SVU reruns until he got home at 10:30. Then on Sunday morning, we went up to Concord to help him unpack all his stuff. After we got home, we went looking at apartments. And we actually found a couple we like - YAY! :) And when we got home we ate dinner. Guess what we had? It starts with a T and ends with ACOS!!!!!! My new favorite, in case you couldn't tell.

We're in seriously bad shape when it comes to groceries right now. No bread, milk, or cheese. No TACO SHELLS. No popsicles. Just to name a few things. But at least we have the things I need for my lunch.

Oh, and here are some more pictures from the Walk Now for Autism Speaks. I didn't do a very good job at documenting it, but Nate's family came and Heidi took some good ones. So I stole these.

The Charlotte Motor Speedway...where the walk was.

Nate jumping.

Nate and Heidi.

Me, Rebecca, Wesley and Nate!

The Pit Stop Challenge!

She was fast!

I was not!

And now it's time for truth number four!

4. Something you have to forgive someone else for.

Hm. You know, I try to make it a habit to forgive others for things they've done to me as soon as I can. Because I really hate harboring resentment against people. And God says that we are to forgive people who do wrong against us "seventy times seven." I didn't always live this way, and I found out pretty quickly that holding grudges can make you a very bitter and angry person. And life just isn't worth living that way. We weren't meant to live life that way. So I really can't think of a single person I have yet to forgive for something. 

And that is all. :)

EDIT: Apparently we are in worse shape as far as groceries go than I thought. And we're out of lettuce. So no salad for me. Just chicken. :(  It's definitely going to be shopping time when I get off work.

procrastinating.

Today is my day off! Yay! No work AND it's fall break so no driving to Columbia for class. I have so much to get done but so far things have not gone as planned.

I got about 4 hours of sleep last night (which has become the routine) so I ended up lying in bed until about 10 trying to will my body to give in for at least one more hour. But that didn't happen. So I got up, ate breakfast, fed the puppies and walked them, got ready for the day and now I'm eating lunch.

I haven't finished the laundry or done the dishes or cleaned the bathroom or mailed out the cards I need to send or worked on my project for class. And what am I doing now? Blogging. Oh well, after this I will get to work and will hopefully be able to come back and tell y'all all about the wonderful accomplishments of this afternoon.

This week hasn't been very exciting. Work and school and more work for both of us. Nate worked from home yesterday but I was at two of my three jobs all morning and afternoon so I didn't really get to spend any time with him. But I'm planning on actually cooking dinner tonight and getting everything done around the house since I'll be home so we can spend time together tonight.

And as far as the weekend goes, there isn't much planned there either. I have to work more hours than usual. And Nate is helping a friend of his move up here this weekend. Which I'm sure he's pretty excited about since we don't really know anyone at all (anyone who lives in the greater Charlotte area and would like to be friends, PLEASE leave a comment...k thanks!) and since I work every weekend and leave him home to fend for himself. Now he will have someone to hopefully occupy his time while I'm off with my kids learning about composers and Sponge Bob and fighting off evil villains.

Oh, and of course we'll be going to church. And hopefully visiting a possible Sunday School class this week. And we're also planning on doing the corn maze sometime very soon...when my work hours allow it that is.

And I guess that's all. Now, onto truth number three...

3. Something you have to forgive yourself for.
When I first started college, I made a lot of mistakes. It took me longer than most to finish my undergraduate career and I learned a lot of lessons the hard way. I made things very difficult not only for myself, but also for my family and for Nate. And I still don't necessarily see myself as past all of that. I still tend to let it define who I am, and I think that makes it very hard for me to experience successes in life now. I still feel like I need to make up for all those mistakes. I know I need to forgive myself for the choices I made, learn from that time in my life and move on. And I'm working on it...but it's definitely not easy.

And, as usual...what about you? Is there anything you need to forgive yourself for? Move on from?

number two.

Before I get started on the second of my thirty truths, I need to share a video of my puppies that I think is adorable but the rest of you probably couldn't care less about. :)

This is what they spend all day doing. Abby usually wins but Chloe is definitely learning to hold her own and I think she'll be able to beat Abs one day.

Now, onto truth numero dos...

2. Something you love about yourself.

I think it's pretty funny that I'm having a harder time thinking of an answer for this than I did for the first one. But after a good bit of thinking, I think I've FINALLY come up with something.

I have this crazy ability to see things from other people's points of view. Whenever there's an argument or disagreement or situation where someone is wronged or gets in trouble or whatever...my first instinct is to try and figure out what the people involved are thinking and feeling and why they made the choices they did. If someone is being treated badly I automatically start trying to figure out how it makes them feel. I even go so far as to do that when someone says something about another person behind their back and the person being criticized is never even going to hear what was said. This drives Nate crazy because it means I can get defensive and start rationalizing things people I don't even know have done. I'm pretty sure he thinks I could defend a serial killer.

What it comes down to is that I am just REALLY empathetic to what people are going through. Not sympathetic, mind you. I actually FEEL what other people are feeling in situations and then feel the need to stand up for them or justify their actions to whoever's around (usually it's the hubby). This doesn't mean that I don't ever do things without considering the feelings of others. I am human and I do make mistakes on a daily basis (probably closer to an hourly basis).

I do feel that it really is a good quality to have. It definitely helps me when it comes to my career, which is working with children. It especially helps me when working with children who have special needs. It helps me to relate to my kids and to see their needs and wants. It helps me understand why they might be displaying certain problem behaviors, what might be frustrating them, and how to better work with them and work for them. I really feel that this is a gift with which God has blessed me in order to better equip me for working with children. It helps me to see my kids through His eyes.

Not only does it help me to see my children the way God does, but it also helps me to see everyone through His eyes. While I don't think all actions are justifiable or excusable, I know that He loves us all the same. And I know that the only way I can truly impact the lives of others is to see and treat them with that love. And I really do think that my empathetic nature makes that more possible. Not easy. And definitely doesn't make me an expert at it. But it makes it a little more possible.

What is something you love about yourself? Don't be shy!

“Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘who am I to be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?’ Actually, who are we not to be? You are a child of God: Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

number one.

I've seen this on various blogs, including that of a long-distance pal of mine. And I figured since I'm updating everyone on our daily lives, why not go a little deeper? Even though most of the people reading this are family members, there are still a few who don't know us that well. So why not give a little more insight into our lives? Well, more accurately, mine, since I'm the one doing it. Anyway...for the next month or so each entry will contain one of thirty truths about me. I will post the question and then my answer to it. So today I will be starting with number one.

1. Something you hate about yourself.
Well, isn't this a nice way to start this off? Hah. Something I hate about myself...hmmm... There are a quite a few things I don't really like about myself, especially on a bad day.

But something I really really dislike?

I guess it would have to be the fact that I am the world's WORST procrastinator. I mean, it's bad. I can make to-do list after to-do list and Nate can remind me a bajillion times and I can even set alarms to remind myself to do things. But I just don't have the discipline I would like to have.

I think a lot of it stems from my perfectionist tendencies. When I do something, I want it done RIGHT. Wait, I take that back. I want it more than right. I want to do it PERFECTLY. And let me tell you from firsthand experience - when every task needs to be done perfectly, even something as small as unloading the dishwasher can be pretty daunting. Needless to say, I start off doing things with good intentions, but then I get so involved in the minute details and so concerned with meeting standards that I'm pretty sure could only be met by God that I start panicking and telling myself I need a break and once I've had a break I'll finish it later. Then later rolls around and I have such anxiety from the first time I attempted it that I end up putting it off again. And so begins the vicious cycle.

I guess the reason I really dislike this part of myself is because it affects every part of my life. And it really hinders me from accomplishing so many things I want to accomplish. And I'm working on making changes so it's not so much of an issue anymore (I have made progress, believe it or not!). I'm also working on accepting the fact that this is who I am, and I can't completely get rid of this part of myself. And I'm working on seeing the good in the perfectionistic procrastinator side of me. There are times when it's beneficial to focus on the details, and there are times when you need to put something off because there are more important things in life. It's just all about balance. And learning to work with who you are and what God gave you.

And I think I'm getting there.

So what is something that you want to change about yourself? You might not hate it, because hate is a strong word...but we should always be reflecting and working to better ourselves. So...what are you working on? Or what do you want to start working on? It's never too late.